نہ تھا کچھ تو خدا تھا
کچھ نہ ہوتا تو خدا ہوتا
ڈبویا مجھ کو ہونے نے
نہ ہوتا میں تو کیا ہوتا
When there was nothing,
there was God,
If there were nothing,
there would be God,
My being has sunk me,
if I were not,
what would be. -Mirza Ghalib
The timeless genius of this couplet is intoxicating. The more one thinks of it, the deeper it stares back and forces one to look within, wishing to peel off the layers of one’s being till there are none.
نہ ہوتا میں تو کیا ہوتا
if I were not, what would be
The ‘self’ is what defines and drives the individual, it’s also what causes one to perceive the ‘other’ as ‘other’. It’s this awareness of ‘being’, separate from all else, that creates the unique experiences one perceives, the pain, the joy, the desires, the fear, the love that fill our being as we move from experience to experience.
The uniqueness and individuality that the ‘self’ perceives, is also what distances it from all else. The deeper it sinks, wrapping itself under layers upon layers of its own perception, the further and more different it imagines itself from all else.
There is a very fine line between self awareness and self indulgence. Excessive indulgence in one's own imagined uniqueness, superiority, or own fears, grief, self pity can spiral one into self consuming envy and paranoid hatred for anyone it sees to be living free of the self induced ills that haunt it.
The triggers for hate, envy, greed, start to build as the wrappings go beyond a certain depth, to the point it enters the narcissist level of depravity. At this depth it can’t tolerate anyone it cannot control. It can’t see anyone else rising or succeeding, as it believes, only it deserves all. It’s willing to employ any and every means necessary to pull someone down, to get whatever it wants, whether earned, deserved or not is irrelevant. It will misuse, misguide, conspire, slander deceive and drag others with it to demonic depths, not out of strength, but out of the terror of its own emptiness. And this will, ultimately lead it and all who it drags with it, to destruction and eternal damnation.
ڈبویا مجھ کو ہونے نے
My being has sunk me
The dance of the Turkish “Semazens”, the “whirling dervaish” of the Mevelvi order, beautifully symbolizes this truth about self, its wrapping under shrouds of darkness and its unraveling as it connects with the sublime universal Truth and Love.
The ritual begins with the dervaish shedding off his black cloak, which represents disengaging from material, the ego, the unrelenting ‘me’, the darkness, with which the shroud of ‘self’ covers the eternal light within. Then starts the clam whirl, building with the yearning to connect with
The Eternal,
The Origin,
The Final,
The Peace…
Right hand stretched up
in anticipation,
searching,
reaching,
receiving,
the light,
the calm,
the peace,
the beauty,
cleansing, rejuvenating what’s hidden within the perception of self. The left hand stretched down
giving,
spreading,
the love,
the light,
for all,
indiscriminately, as it fills with the colors and magnificence, the all encompassing, nature of the beauty that it receives, as the sun shines on all.
The whirling is counterclockwise, in the direction of the heart, the center which receives and spreads the Beauty and Love. Each whirl unravels a layer of self, each unraveling brightens the internal illumination, and builds the ecstasy, the longing to become NOT.
نہ ہوتا میں تو کیا ہوتا
if I were not, what would be
The self that cleanses itself becomes a source of peace for all. It represents truth, simplicity and clarity. There are no murky waters, no smell of deceit and fake personas, when there is truth within.
This world is built on opposites, unfortunately, some fall victims to the opposite spin, the spin away from the heart to darker wrappings of self-defeating, self-deceiving layers. Here the black cloak of darkness is never shed, instead its compounded. The left hand reaches downwards not to give but to collect the darkness from the lower depths of filth, envy, lies, greed, and the basest of evil, and piles it upon itself, layer by layer, like a spider wrapping its victim. The only difference here, is that the prey and the predator are the same. The right hand stretched out, casts the evil, onward and outwards to other willing hearts tuned to the frequency of resentment and envy, they all gravitate to such centers of darkness, creating a whirlwind of demonic evil darkness, spreading hatred, lies and deception.
ڈبویا مجھ کو ہونے نے
My being has sunk me
The tragedy is not the evil done to others. The deeper tragedy is what is done to the self. Every layer of darkness added is a layer between the soul and its salvation.
May hearts find their meaning and purpose, shed off the dark shrouds of self-indulged, self-induced evil and depravity and move towards the light and finally feel the peace that comes with the Truth.
نہ تھا کچھ تو خدا تھا کچھ نہ ہوتا تو خدا ہوتا
ڈبویا مجھ کو ہونے نے نہ ہوتا میں تو کیا ہوتا
https://aleembaig.substack.com/p/a-tale-of-two-whirls
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